Happiness is a Warm Gun

I have decided to go in search for happiness this summer. I am going to get happy no matter what it takes! Even if this means quitting my job. Which is a 95% sure thing at this point. However 5% is a lot!

Pros to Quitting My Job

• That much closer to being happy
• Some time off to help out around the house for the summer
• I could read more
• I could paint more
• I could try to get into better shape
• I could bum around and relax
• I wont be stressed over stupid (job related) things anymore
• I wont be treated badly
• I could travel a bit
• I could go to the beach more
• I could stay out late and sleep in late
• I could get my life a bit clearer

Cons to Quitting My Job

• Money (lack there of)
• I'll miss people at work (Red and Blue!)
• I wont get my daily fix of hot guys in suits
• I'll feel lame
• I'll have to look for another job
• I wont get support from my family
• I'll miss the lame funny things that make work worth getting up for (seeing crazy things out the window)
• I'll have less stories to tell
• I wont get very much contact with real people
• I'll ALWAYS feel guilty for it
• I'll eventually miss my work friends
• Did I mention I wont be getting money.....

I really don't know what to do. I don't feel like I'm getting much support from my family in regards to quitting. At first I though I did but not so much anymore.

But this is just bumming me out and that's not what life is about. So here is something that is sure to pick you up. (Well sure to pick me up at least)

Things I ACTUALLY Heard at Work

1. "Have you heard of that You Tube thing? For videos." "Yeah, (disgusted)the kids put some nasty stuff up on that.' - My boss's wife and sister
2. "I was on The Facebook last night..."- My Aunt
3. "I'm going for the dark roast" 'OH! You're a darky.' -Women talking about coffee

-Black Plaid

Don't Pass Me By

1 pour Blue Boles
1 pour Coconut Rum
1 slightly larger pour Lemonade (purely for good measure)
Fuzzy Peaches
Eagle vs Shark

Mix liquids and sit at computer. Drink.
Listen to sad She and Him songs until
you can take it no longer. Watch movie
while choking down delicious peaches.
Try not to think too much.

~

Now that I know what I want,

see I think that it haunts me,

I want you too much

-Black Plaid

Ain't She Sweet?

SHE IS SO DAMNED SWEET THAT SHE NEVER ENDS UP WITH WHAT SHE WANTS!!!!!!
-Pink Flamingo

Please Mister Postman...

... send me these in the mail even though I have no way to order them.

Quite possibly the funniest way to reference TMNT... I have a similar shirt actually.


I want to say this to every emo ever now.


I don't think I have to justify my want for this.


It totally is. But a nice bullshit town!


It really is! I guess....

Too Much Monkey Business

Here is some random stuff that has given me WAY to much pleasure in the last few days. I feel like I'm seven.....


Seriously I laughed about this for about 20 minutes. Then again every time I told anyone about it. Then again when I found it on youtube. Then AGAIN just now when I loaded it.... what's wrong with me?
Another thing that tickled my inner child was Amanda chanting "Fart on the news. Fart on the news!" in my living room. Even better was that all this puke/fart fun was followed up by a lovely night of drinking (if you ever want to get me really drunk really fast just give me shots of Hot 100... wowza!).

On a completely different note here are some lines from a song I LOVE!

"I saw it glitter as I grew
And loved a boy I never knew"

And here is even more randomness....
I found a pickup line generator while on one of my excursions into the series of tubes we call the Internet. Basically you put in the name of the " person you want to score with" and it gives you the line you should use on them. I put in two names and here are the lines I was given.
Boy #1- Do you believe in love at first sight? Or should I walk past again?
Boy #2- Are you a parking ticket? Because you have FINE written all over you
I wish I had the guts to say this to either of them because it would be SO funny...
Then I put in my name to see what line is supposed to work on me.....
Me- If I could rearrange the alphabet... I'd put you between F and CK
Oh my....

-Black Plaid

I Want to Hold Your Hand

... But not right now. My hands are numb! From what? From doing mudras without stretching out I guess. Mudras are basically yoga moves for the hands (also used in Buddhist healing and religion as well as in East Indian dancing) and are fairly a new thing in my life. This I assume is why they hurt my hands so much right now. Fingers crossed (YEAH RIGHT) that it will become less painful later. On the plus side the half hour Mahasirs-Mudra has completely gotten rid of my headache. Now I need to find one that gets rid of hand pain I guess.